Oh! Congratulations! You’re going to be a mommy. Maybe this is baby #1, maybe you’ve already got yourself a full soccer team. Either way, there are some things you just don’t need to hear while you’re pregnant (or at all). Pregnancy is so different for everyone and while some unsolicited advice may reign true in your current situation, most of them are completely and utterly unwarranted comments.
Disclaimer: I’m pregnant and this is how I’m feeling right now. If I’m not eating my feelings, I am certainly not apologizing for them. ?
- “WOW! Big belly! Gonna be a BIG baby!!” or “Getting BIG!!” – First of all, no … Why is it that older women are always the ones who say these things?! Do they not realize how pregnancy even works? I’ve seen so many teeny, tiny bellies produce large babies and women who have gained a lot of weight give birth to small babies. Just stop saying these things! Would you walk up to anyone not pregnant and tell them that they’re fat?! Come on!
2. “Are you sure it’s not twins?” – Yep, pretty sure the ultrasounds didn’t lie to me and there’s only one in there, but thanks for making me feel like more of a beached whale than I already do. Honestly, who would even dream of asking someone that?!
3. “You’re definitely having a boy/girl” – Old wives tales are just that; tales. I had one person tell me that I was ABSOLUTELY having a boy because I was all belly and I looked fantastic and was glowing. One, that’s sweat; it’s summer. Two, I am 100% having a girl and it has been confirmed for months now. I had another convinced that I was having a girl because I carried high and all belly. Well, so did many of my friends who now have boys!
4. “Did you want a girl? Or did you want a boy first? Are you happy?” – What?! Of course I’m happy! I’m having a baby and as long as he or she is healthy; I’m happy!
5. “Oh, you’re on extended maternity leave? Must be nice” – “Must be nice” is one of my absolute least favorite phrases. It is so rude and demeaning and full of jealous innuendos. You don’t know a woman’s reasons for being or not being on leave. Don’t ask and don’t say negative things.
6. “Are you going to have more kids?” – I have no idea. I haven’t even had this one yet. For all you know, I could have had such a severely traumatic experience in just trying to conceive this little blessing. Please don’t assume that you know my journey here.
7. “You look like you’re ready to POP!” – I feel fine. Great actually … Have you people never seen a pregnant woman before? Chances are in her 36th week she’s going to look rather large. Maybe you should ask how she’s feeling instead of insulting her.
8. “Better rest now” – There’s actually nothing really wrong with this statement except that it just really annoys me. I personally still sleep great, even at 36 weeks pregnant. I know that I am the exception to the rule and I am by all means NOT complaining about that. But please … for those who have trouble sleeping at night already and are very uncomfortable with their pregnancies, this is the worst thing to say. All women know that babies are a lot of work and are extremely exhausting. You don’t need to push the knife in further …
9. “You’re not getting an epidural?! Don’t try to be a hero” – This is another extremely disrespectful comment. There are so many personal reasons and beliefs to not have drugs injected into your spine during childbirth. This is right up there with all of the breastfeeding comments. While we’re at it, FED is best ladies!!
10. Anything related to your own labor and delivery is off limits … – If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to scare me out of childbirth, I would have enough money to pay someone to give birth for me. Honestly, I don’t care about how painful or bloody or shitty (no pun intended) your delivery was. You are not me. All births are different and I am well aware of what I am in for. I planned this pregnancy, remember? You already asked me that question!